# Resumé feedback?



## Syntax (Mar 22, 2016)

Hi all. I've been cold-calling contractors and pounding the pavement as much as my current employment situation allows (a day or two every 2 weeks), and it's led to the odd lead here and there, but nothing concrete yet... A few companies have offered to take my resumé, and I've always promptly submitted it to them. So far, no call-backs, though I've been following up where appropriate every 1-2 weeks. The industry in my region does seem to be hurting, from what I've been told.

Basically, I'm wondering if anyone here would be willing to take a look at what I'm submitting and provide some feedback on what I could do to sell myself a bit better. I've attached my resumé (generally I customize the *Objective* section to reflect the name of the company I'm applying to). I've also attached a cover letter template. These I customize _lots_ to reflect how I would fit with company philosophy/mission, job ad keywords, etc.

Thanks all!


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## 99cents (Aug 20, 2012)

Everything looks good to me. I would take a look at you based on that resume if I was looking for a starter.


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## Majewski (Jan 8, 2016)

Just hire him 99!


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## MikeFL (Apr 16, 2016)

That resume looks good to me too. For a entry level first year apprentice job I'd say you are the most qualified of anyone who's going to apply for that job.


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## 99cents (Aug 20, 2012)

Syntax said:


> ...So far, no call-backs, though I've been following up where appropriate every 1-2 weeks...


This part I like. It shows initiative and that you're not just aimlessly tossing out resumes. If there's a job out there, there's a good chance you're the guy to get it.


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## MikeFL (Apr 16, 2016)

If Google Maps works the same in your neck of the woods as it works here, you can google "Electrical Contractors near (enter city name)" and it will give you names & addresses of EC's in that region. You could mail your resume to them. I know I'd be impressed to receive that resume unsolicited. And if I needed someone it would save me the time & cost to go find someone.


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## 99cents (Aug 20, 2012)

Maybe I missed it but you should say that you have your tools and boots and are ready to go.


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## spinninwheels (Oct 28, 2012)

Agreed, resume looks great. In addition to what 99 said, dressing in clean work clothes can only help the employer to visualize you in the work environment.


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## wildleg (Apr 12, 2009)

I'm sorry but I don't agree with what everyone here has said so far.

The biggest flaw (to me), is your objective.

Your objective should be to something like starting a career as an electrician, beginning with an apprenticeship, because you have found a compelling interest in that type of work blah blah blah - not to obtain a position, which sounds disinterested and weak, as though you are just looking for a job, not a career as an electrician.


portions which include "passion for work in trades", and references "for any portion of this document" are superfluous and overreaching. Your boss, if they hire you, is likely a dumba$$ electrician turned boss, and wants to see simple direct statements, not a dissertation. I would just list 3 good references and say more are available on request - that puts it right there (IMO).

the skills and experiece sections, in my opinion, should also be dumbed down. "Excellent communicator sounds pompous", and I would prefer to see "Good communicator and tech savvy" rather than what you listed.

the skills should be reduced. you are interested in being an electrician, so all the carpentry stuff could be reduced to "rough carpentry/drywall". no need to list it all, unless you are applying to be a handyman, not an electrician.

focus on your interest in becoming an electrician.

You asked for opinions, and just consider mine one. Don't get butt hurt - I haven't' done a resume in 30 years, so I may be out of touch with what flies these days.

good luck


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## MechanicalDVR (Dec 29, 2007)

spinninwheels said:


> Agreed, resume looks great. In addition to what 99 said, dressing in clean work clothes can only help the employer to visualize you in the work environment.


Agreed, work pants and a nice button down Carhartt shirt. Neat but professional is a good presentation. A good first impression is hard to beat.


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## MechanicalDVR (Dec 29, 2007)

I agree with what Wildleg had to say. Your wording should be clear and concise, if it comes off as highbrow you won't come off well. You objective should be plain and simple.


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## Bird dog (Oct 27, 2015)

About five years ago I used https://resumecompanion.com/ to help me with my resume. I actually had someone help me with it. Might want to check them out.


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## spinninwheels (Oct 28, 2012)

wildleg said:


> I'm sorry but I don't agree with what everyone here has said so far.
> 
> The biggest flaw (to me), is your objective.
> 
> ...


good points.

I copied and pasted this from a post I made in Vintage Sounds excellent post on becoming an apprentice...

_Though I haven't hired in the electrical field, I have close to 10 yrs. experience hiring people. My only advice would be to keep it to 1 page.

Don't cram everything to make it into 1 page.

You may think some things are important to include, but it may not relate to the field. 

This may seem difficult, but remember that the person looking at all the resumes may be knee-deep in them.

Don't repeat yourself.

Forget cover letters unless targeting larger companies with an HR department.

Say as much as you can in as few words as possible - brevity is key.

Use bold and/or highlighting font to organize sections/heading/etc.

Show your resume to someone in an HR/hiring position for feedback (doesn't have to be in the electrical field).

What you want, ultimately, is a job.
- the resume gets you noticed/phone call
- the phone call gets you the interview
- the interview gives you the time to fill in the blanks and sell yourself._


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## Syntax (Mar 22, 2016)

99cents said:


> Everything looks good to me. I would take a look at you based on that resume if I was looking for a starter.
> 
> ...
> 
> ...


Thanks 99. I'll keep at it and probably make a few adjustments per your advice and others'.



MikeFL said:


> That resume looks good to me too. For a entry level first year apprentice job I'd say you are the most qualified of anyone who's going to apply for that job.
> 
> If Google Maps works the same in your neck of the woods as it works here, you can google "Electrical Contractors near (enter city name)" and it will give you names & addresses of EC's in that region. You could mail your resume to them. I know I'd be impressed to receive that resume unsolicited. And if I needed someone it would save me the time & cost to go find someone.


Thanks Mike. I've tried the google maps approach, but there are just too many to manage. What I ended up doing was finding the bigger names in my area with a basic web search, looking at the list of companies affiliated with the IBEW, and keeping an eye out for vans/trucks on the road! :icon_wink:



spinninwheels said:


> Agreed, resume looks great. In addition to what 99 said, dressing in clean work clothes can only help the employer to visualize you in the work environment.


This is a good call. Thank you. I'm working in renovation right now and my work clothes aren't the most presentable...



MechanicalDVR said:


> Agreed, work pants and a nice button down Carhartt shirt. Neat but professional is a good presentation. A good first impression is hard to beat.
> 
> I agree with what Wildleg had to say. Your wording should be clear and concise, if it comes off as highbrow you won't come off well. You objective should be plain and simple.


Thanks for the feedback!



Bird dog said:


> About five years ago I used https://resumecompanion.com/ to help me with my resume. I actually had someone help me with it. Might want to check them out.


Thanks, I may just check them out.



wildleg said:


> I'm sorry but I don't agree with what everyone here has said so far.
> 
> The biggest flaw (to me), is your objective.
> 
> ...


Wildleg, thank you so much for your honest and thorough response. The points you've highlighted are exactly the kinds of things I'm concerned about. In past job hunts on the "white collar" side of things, I've always been encouraged to sell myself in a way that frankly seems to be frowned upon in the trades. I asked for feedback and you provided it; I am not butthurt :thumbup1:


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## Lone Crapshooter (Nov 8, 2008)

According to (What Color is Your Parachute ) a well respected book about job hunting and carrers if you are getting 3% acknowledgement from resumes you are doing better than most.
Also if your resume comes from a resume factory it will go directly into the trash.
No more than a page and a half on plain white typing paper
ng


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## Syntax (Mar 22, 2016)

Hi all,

Here is an updated version if you care to look at it. I kept the content largely the same, did a bit of trimming, formatted it differently, and used the extra space for a references section. What do you think? @99cents @wildleg @MechanicalDVR @spinninwheels


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## MechanicalDVR (Dec 29, 2007)

Syntax said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Here is an updated version if you care to look at it. I kept the content largely the same, did a bit of trimming, formatted it differently, and used the extra space for a references section. What do you think? @99cents @wildleg @MechanicalDVR @spinninwheels


I'd just change it to: "Good communication skills" , all the rest looks good.


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## Signal1 (Feb 10, 2016)

^^Agree with MechD^^^

Good luck in your job search. Keep us posted.


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## wildleg (Apr 12, 2009)

I still think there's room for consolidation.

Check your emai, Reid.

The biography you posted on your ET profile sounds well done - maybe you could incorporate it (shortened) into your resume or cover letter.

good luck


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## spinninwheels (Oct 28, 2012)

Syntax said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Here is an updated version if you care to look at it. I kept the content largely the same, did a bit of trimming, formatted it differently, and used the extra space for a references section. What do you think? @99cents @wildleg @MechanicalDVR @spinninwheels


Looks good.

If I were to tweak it, here are some things to consider...

Your qualifications/skills are crammed. I'm a big fan of *well-spaced points*. It makes it easy to read. It's nice to keep uniform spacing/format throughout your resume.

It's awesome that you have volunteer work to put on your resume. But in a skilled trade position, volunteering isn't typically commonplace, as in more tech/business/sciences positions.

So, if you're going to cram something - cram your volunteer.

*OR*

If you eliminated your last two volunteer positions, it would give you more space. I understand the second one is involved in the trades, but not necessarily expanding on an entry-level, relatable skill; and the second highlights mechanical/business aptitude. Which is great, but not necessarily automatically transferable in the eyes of the employer.

You are looking for an entry level position. Once hired, you can then expand on your business/leadership skills.

I might ditch the brewery job and add machine operator under skills. Reducing it to that would buy you at least one line.

Over the years I have had many jobs. I keep a master resume that I dump skills/education/work history into. I then copy and paste, as some points are not necessarily relevant, but nice to keep close at hand. This is something to think about considering your broad skills/work history.

Good Luck:thumbsup:


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## Syntax (Mar 22, 2016)

spinninwheels said:


> Looks good.
> 
> If I were to tweak it, here are some things to consider...
> 
> ...


Thanks for your thoughts. I may cut down the detail in the volunteer section and adjust the spacing (you're right: things look crammed), but I think I'd like to keep my volunteer work on there as I'm trying to demonstrate commitment and interest in my field. They're significant points for me in terms of the path that brought me to the industry in the first place.

I've removed the office role at Western U from 2013-14 but chosen to keep the brewery gig because it seems a better fit with "sweeping floors, threading pipe, and pulling wire," as wildleg put it in his PM to me. Even so, I wonder what eyebrows that 2-year gap could raise... I'd like to find a way to sneak it in somewhere.


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## spinninwheels (Oct 28, 2012)

Syntax said:


> Thanks for your thoughts. I may cut down the detail in the volunteer section and adjust the spacing (you're right: things look crammed), but I think I'd like to keep my volunteer work on there as I'm trying to demonstrate commitment and interest in my field. They're significant points for me in terms of the path that brought me to the industry in the first place.
> 
> I've removed the office role at Western U from 2013-14 but chosen to keep the brewery gig because it seems a better fit with "sweeping floors, threading pipe, and pulling wire," as wildleg put it in his PM to me. Even so, I wonder what eyebrows that 2-year gap could raise... I'd like to find a way to sneak it in somewhere.


As a person who has hired, especially when I've received a deluge of resumes, one can read between the lines. I wouldn't worry about gaps. Your resume doesn't scream _slacker_.

As mentioned earlier in this thread, sometimes you have to dumb it down. And that may mean eliminating things that strike a chord with you. And that sucks, because it's your life people are asking you to thin out, dumb-down, etc. But you want your resume to jump out and make an impact. Keeping it short and sweet, as an entry-level apprentice, is paramount, IMO.


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## daks (Jan 16, 2013)

From a person that is sick of turning down or tossing resume's when I remember how hard it was for me to "get a toe in" and get started. 

My thoughts as I read it. 

You're objective should be to become an electrician. You're seeking an apprenticeship to reach that goal. 

Education; 
Certif. Constr.TradesTechniques Make that "Certificate: Construction Trades Techniques" 
Top Marks? Well don't waste my time, what were they? I don't like guessing games with apprentices. 
B.A. So what, not relevant, should have used the space to put positive education points there. Like more about electrical stuff from that "Certif"
How many hours was the electrical part of the course? Did you just learn to put in a receptacle or can you size and wire in a 3ph motor and starter? 

You're working at heights is more important to me that that BA, why was it hidden behind the driver's license. 

Relevant skills;
-basic electrical & wiring , K again something that catches my attention but no "meat" with it. Can you troubleshoot a 3 way switch? Know the difference between a subpanel and a service panel? 


-directing subcontractors,payment acquisition. 
may have issues with grandeur when he has to crawl an attic, clean and stock a truck, sweep, dig.
Oh payment acquisition, means his either a nag or a con artist.

-Excellent communicator, and very tech savvy
Buzz words, blah, F* off with "very tech savvy" I hear too many people say crap like that and they know squat. 

Work History
More details on what you did on the last (top 3) 
Peer coach, put that in with the rest of George brown. 

Consultant and Administrator
Sorry but that whole description is just non-specific buzzwords that is not relevant, even in a corporate environment that would be a red-flag for a HR clerk. 

Crew leader _Habitat for Humanity. :thumbsup:

-Ambassador ... 

WTF I don't want a politician,

(General Rant that I have every time I toss an application)
I want a person that is not afraid to get dirty, sweat like a pig, take orders and learn fast with their hands and their mind, that will show up to work on time. (so I look at how long they stayed at a job) Then I look at how much basic/relevant training they have and if they took classes what the grades were. Can't have an apprentice that is going to flunk out of school. 

Coversheet... never read them, always filled with drivel and butt kissing and political promises. 

We get about 10 resume's a week, phone calls more than we count. Inquiries from customer's, friends to start off one of their kids. 

One of our most successful apprentices got hired because; 
- he'd strolled past the shop at morning roll call every few weeks and asked if we needed any help. after about 8 months he became a "familiar face", one day we were short on a big job, and he showed up. 
I asked him for his resume, he handed it over, had no politcalese bs, showed one summer's construction but his hobby was restoring old cars, so that showed mechanical aptitude. Asked if he had boots and tools with him. He said yes. I told him he was on probation, he was late and to hurry up and get his lazy ass in the truck. 

He worked his butt off, didn't use his phone except on break, didn't claim to know things, but would watch and learn what others were doing. 

After about 5 months we got around to signing him on as an apprentice. 

Now if you want to know whom to become a familiar face to...

https://findacontractor.esasafe.com/


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## Dogface (Sep 8, 2016)

Wildleg, I have sent a mail couple of days ago. please check it


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## Syntax (Mar 22, 2016)

All,

Just wanted to let you know I've started working with a small EC on a probationary basis, who intends to register me after 3 months if all goes well 

Thank you all for your advice, help, and input; I have no doubt it played a significant part in getting me this first role of my electrical career!


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## CADPoint (Jul 5, 2007)

Syntax said:


> All,
> 
> Just wanted to let you know I've started working with a small EC on a probationary basis, who intends to register me after 3 months if all goes well
> 
> Thank you all for your advice, help, and input; I have no doubt it played a significant part in getting me this first role of my electrical career!


Congrat's, Add this to your resume' now.

Over all I don't like the various bold statement through out the resume.
If your really want to go there ask the person that hired you. What they thought of your resume, before your walk out the door. It's not that you have to do it Monday but maybe at the end off your probation.

Technically, you should always place your highest level of education obtained first. 
Granted its a toss up to place electrical verses a BA first, if in fact the electrical is the latest that's fine.

Noun, verbs and adjectives: use more of them. Be descriptive with materials and applications completed. At your level you might describe more of what you installed - An example: Installed Romex or BX in small additions, EMT in light commercial. Continued or demo'd knob and tube. 

You can place a note at the bottom; References available upon request.
You shouldn't release this as part of resume to small company's, one's with HR or electronic filing, Yes. Besides it's your references not your resume.

As you resume builds then list direct company's and maybe direct foreman
or supervisors. This changes the aspects and use of references sometimes as it should a reference is just that. The References don't have to be work related at all. The references should be on a separate paper. If you get to fill out an application have hard copy ready and list when filling out application.

As a courtesy you ask someone for a reference and you let them know again
that you are looking for a job and that "odd people might be getting in contact with them". Use business numbers and not personal numbers, FYI.


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