# Dealing with a not so nice co-worker. New to electrical



## Dingomunn (Feb 18, 2021)

Hi all,
I’ve been in the trade for about 6 months now. Mainly residential. I’ve been a helper for the same guy for about 5 months. He’s nice when we’re not working, but when we are on a job it is very hard to cope with his attitude. He can be passive aggressive at times, and he has a temper. He’ll get frustrated easily, at me sometimes but mainly at the job if he struggles with anything at all. Honestly it makes me extremely uncomfortable, not to mention that I’m already extremely anxious because I’m still fairly new and all. I feel like working with him prohibits me from doing my best work and limits me from learning and improving. I’m scared to ask things sometimes because I don’t want to get in the middle of a hissy fit he may be having. He works pretty slow (so do i), but compared to other people on his level it seems like he struggles a lot more to get things done which worries me because I don’t want to look like a bad employee. I simply do what he tells me to and I go along with his plans, which make no sense sometimes. I spoke to my boss about possibly working with someone else because my anxiety is through the roof. He said it’d be hard to move me around, and they can’t afford to let him go because we’re already pretty short handed. Occasionally I have worked with other guys and the experience has been great. I don’t get nervous, I don’t have to worry about pissing someone off, and they do great work. I may sound like a wimp or just a scared little kid but I feel like if I worked with somebody else I could perform a lot better and not be distracted or afraid of pissing this guy off. Has anybody had a similar experience coping with working with a guy you don’t necessarily want to be with or has a bad attitude? I love the trade and I want to get good and be confident, not scared and anxious all the time.


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## Kevin (Feb 14, 2017)

Welcome to ElectricianTalk.com! A few things:

First, I wouldn't be scared to ask questions in the work place. Just because the boss or any coworkers is having a hissey fit doesn't mean they're going to physically hurt you. They may yell at you, but that's something to expect working in the trades. As for worrying about pissing him off, you're only 6 months into an apprenticeship. That's your "get out of jail" free card. Ask a stupid question? You're new and didn't know. I could go on and on about this, but the jist of it is, don't be afraid of your coworkers. 

Secondly, 

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## Dingomunn (Feb 18, 2021)

Kevin said:


> Welcome to ElectricianTalk.com! A few things:
> 
> First, I wouldn't be scared to ask questions in the work place. Just because the boss or any coworkers is having a hissey fit doesn't mean they're going to physically hurt you. They may yell at you, but that's something to expect working in the trades. As for worrying about pissing him off, you're only 6 months into an apprenticeship. That's your "get out of jail" free card. Ask a stupid question? You're new and didn't know. I could go on and on about this, but the jist of it is, don't be afraid of your coworkers.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the advice and quick reply. I do have to work on not being intimidated. Getting yelled at sucks but it happens. It isn’t going to kill me.


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## Kevin (Feb 14, 2017)

Dingomunn said:


> Getting yelled at sucks but it happens. It isn’t going to kill me.


I grew up working with my dad. I got yelled at frequently. I pissed him off frequently. If anything I'd say it helped shape me into who I am today...


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## BluejacketBob (Nov 26, 2020)

Welcome to the electrical trade. Some guys are real jerk faces.


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## CMP (Oct 30, 2019)

I would tell you to suck it up for a while, and pay very close attention to what and how he does things.
When I got into the trade my boss was a dumbbell and a party boy. He was ignorant and screwed up most every job he touched. I didn't at that time understand how he ever got a masters license.

I worked with him for a few years, left to try a different field and then returned to complete my time for getting licensed myself.
I learned a lot from him, and just about everything learned was *WHAT NOT TO DO*. It was a *painful but very valuable lesson*. Today many years later, I am very pleased I stayed the course. I can still remember the many blunders we made at his direction many moons ago. And I always remembered to never repeat them.

Then I realized that to be better you had to study and find out the correct and better ways to do things. Pay attention always, learn the good and the bad ways to go about your tasks. Look around you at every place you go and observe how other craftsmen and butchers have carried out their work, and lean something from everyone of them. By the time I left there, all of the customers had stopped using him because I learned to provide superior service, craftsmanship and knowledge. They would call me, and ask for you to not bring him along. They wanted a craftsman not a dufas partyboy.

So even if you are temporarily paired with a frustrated mean spirited dufas, there are still plenty of valuable lessons to be had. When the boss figures out that you are better and more productive than him, he will be gone. Question is will you be ready to take his place and be better than him, including teaching new hires?


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## gpop (May 14, 2018)

Some people do well under pressure others react to pressure. Its hard to work as a equal with a person that starts with a bad plan or is out of there depth. 

I worked with a guy for a long while that would go into a complete break down on every controls troubleshooting job before he even left the workshop. In the field he would would start with no plan and things would simply get worse. On any other type of job the guy was cool and relaxed and great fun to be around. 
As a helper this has got to be stressful but like CMP points out learning how not to do something will be a great life lesson later in this career.


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## 460 Delta (May 9, 2018)

As others have stated, all instruction is an example, some are good examples, some are bad examples. You will have to determine what is what and use it to your advantage going forward. 

In an ideal world, a year or so with an old timer ready to retire will teach you plenty. These guys know old fashioned tricks and methods that can push you to the finish line first when you get out on your own. 

My papaw who was an old school EE who had worked his way to the position from just a grunt job taught me more than I could ever pay forward. I still try hard though to teach the willing.


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## splatz (May 23, 2015)

I am occasionally prone to temper tantrums and especially prolong cursing and swearing outbursts. It's an art form and done by a craftsman, it tends to make people not so much nervous as amused, so it's probably not the same thing here but just FYI. 

It's slightly possible you could take this as a compliment that your owner put you with this guy, they know he's not their strongest player. Maybe they figured you were sharp enough to spot and not pick up his bad habits, and level headed enough to be able to deal with his tantrums. (Of course it's also possible it was totally random and you really should have showed up five minutes later or five minutes earlier the day they paired you up.)n 

Learning to deal with stress is good, necessary actually. If you calm down a bit you may see that ironically you're the helper, but you are going to have to be the adult. 

You may even learn to diffuse his freak-outs a bit and calm HIM down - if you can learn a little about doing that for people, man that is an MVP quality on any team. It's not very likely, but it's worth a try, you could consider it a "stretch goal."


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## Easy (Oct 18, 2017)

We all work in different environments and often times we get frustrated mainly by jobs that are rushed. There are 2 types of people. Those who don't care about quality and the ones that do. Often times you will have a person who gets frustrated because they are trying to do quality work and get hammered to work faster. The owner of the company is trying to make money and be competitive and the employee is trying to do quality work. Sometimes this causes the employee to blow a fuse and piss and moan. Don't take it personally as you said he is nice when he is not working so really his frustration is probably not directed at you.


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## CWL (Jul 7, 2020)

splatz said:


> I am occasionally prone to temper tantrums and especially prolong cursing and swearing outbursts. It's an art form and done by a craftsman, it tends to make people not so much nervous as amused, so it's probably not the same thing here but just FYI.


Notice my signature.....


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## tedanderson (Jan 31, 2021)

I tend to be a bit of a jerk when it's "game time" because I like having things a certain way so that I can limit the amount of mistakes that I make. I'm so focused on what I'm doing that I tend to omit the pleasantries, courtesies, and politeness. So it's best to ask me questions when we're in that chill mode period of time. All other times the flow is going to be fast paced and intense, even when we're working "slow". And so I need for my helper to have his head in the game at all times. If his mind is somewhere else, he's going to get barked at. Granted it's all new to him and it's going to take time for him to get up to speed. I get that. But I'm still going to be laying into him until that day comes.


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## splatz (May 23, 2015)

CWL said:


> Notice my signature.....


Let me see ... 


> Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.


You might be onto something there. For example, the last time I remember this happening, it did not retrieve the pliers from down the wall between the studs where they fell.


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## kb1jb1 (Nov 11, 2017)

Kevin said:


> I grew up working with my dad. I got yelled at frequently. I pissed him off frequently. If anything I'd say it helped shape me into who I am today...


I also grew up working for my father and we argued many times. While I worried about the codes and he said his way was good for 30 years. Old school vs new school. On one new office building we were wiring I went out to the truck and brought the construction crayon in and divided the building in half. His side and my side. I miss those days.


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## tedanderson (Jan 31, 2021)

kb1jb1 said:


> I also grew up working for my father and we argued many times.


Ditto. It all started when my dad yelled at me for not properly holding the flashlight in the right place.


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## jarrydee (Aug 24, 2019)

I am going to give you bad advice, so take it with a grain of salt. I never cared about keeping a job when there was people like that, even if it was the boss. I will not let anyone talk down to me, or yell at me. Fu*k a job. I do not do the "shut your mouth and just take it, that's how it is" bulls*it. That is my take on it, you have to decide what is good for you. I do know that when you let anyone treat you like crap, it will never stop, just like bullies. You have to knock them out to get them to stop.


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## kb1jb1 (Nov 11, 2017)

tedanderson said:


> Ditto. It all started when my dad yelled at me for not properly holding the flashlight in the right place.


Did he also use the term, " Your blocking my sunlight"?


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## tedanderson (Jan 31, 2021)

jarrydee said:


> I will not let anyone talk down to me, or yell at me. Fu*k a job. I do not do the "shut your mouth and just take it, that's how it is" bulls*it.


Not to argue with you on this... but out of curiosity, would you work in that kind of environment if they gave you a million dollars a year to work there?


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## jarrydee (Aug 24, 2019)

tedanderson said:


> Not to argue with you on this... but out of curiosity, would you work in that kind of environment if they gave you a million dollars a year to work there?


That is a hard one.I think I would try, but probably wouldn't make it. I know people that dread going to work everyday, and suffer through it because of things like this. I don't think I could do it. But you can bet that I would try for that money


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## Dingomunn (Feb 18, 2021)

Thanks for all the feedback everyone!


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## just the cowboy (Sep 4, 2013)

My only feedback is you just asked a question and were not whining about it. That is very good we have others that just make excuses. Stick with it and like someone else said he will be gone before you. 
This is a good lesson for you when you are a JW. "DO NOT BE LIKE HIM" A good JW will take a person under their wing and be proud of " look what I made of him".


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## Dingomunn (Feb 18, 2021)

just the cowboy said:


> My only feedback is you just asked a question and were not whining about it. That is very good we have others that just make excuses. Stick with it and like someone else said he will be gone before you.
> This is a good lesson for you when you are a JW. "DO NOT BE LIKE HIM" A good JW will take a person under their wing and be proud of " look what I made of him".


Thank you for the response. I know whining will solve nothing. I need to learn how to take action and adjust into settings or jobs that may be out of my comfort zone. I have the initiative to make the best of my situation and learn the trade right, while battling any obstacles that are up ahead.


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## just the cowboy (Sep 4, 2013)

Dingomunn said:


> Thank you for the response. I know whining will solve nothing. I need to learn how to take action and adjust into settings or jobs that may be out of my comfort zone. I have the initiative to make the best of my situation and learn the trade right, while battling any obstacles that are up ahead.


Here is a book for you to learn from. 
Stick with it you sound like someone anyone of us would like to have on our team. 
We all had to work with or for an Ahole at one time.


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## Dingomunn (Feb 18, 2021)

I appreciate it. Thank you sir !


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## Kevin (Feb 14, 2017)

kb1jb1 said:


> I also grew up working for my father and we argued many times. While I worried about the codes and he said his way was good for 30 years. Old school vs new school. On one new office building we were wiring I went out to the truck and brought the construction crayon in and divided the building in half. His side and my side. I miss those days.


This... this is gold right here. You genuinely made me laugh for a solid 5 minutes earlier when I read it.


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