# Electrician Jokes



## Chris1971 (Dec 27, 2010)

Know any good electrician jokes?:001_huh:


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## AllWIRES (Apr 10, 2014)

Not really a joke per say but when I was an apprentice, first week or two, a couple journeymen had me looking in all there vans for a can of ohms. I returned empty handed. So one of them went to get it and returned with a can of pvc glue which he removed the label and had drawn the ohms symbol. :laughing:


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## Chrisibew440 (Sep 13, 2013)

danmit! i cant think of any either.


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## Bad Electrician (May 20, 2014)

Did you hear about the gay electrician? He blows fuses.

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What is the definition of a shock absorber?
A careless electrician!


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## hdthegreat (Apr 16, 2014)

Electricians do it till it hertz

on delays=mexican timers.


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## Chrisibew440 (Sep 13, 2013)

i not only do it with strippers and ***** but linemen as well. 









stupid


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## fisstech (Feb 2, 2013)

all of them have to do with mounting boxes, hangin out with strippers (2 if you are lucky), and tuggin your wire all day ...


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## bkmichael65 (Mar 25, 2013)

How tall is a union electrician?

I don't know. I've never seen one stand up :jester:


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## dcb_minded (May 19, 2014)

fisstech said:


> all of them have to do with mounting boxes, hangin out with strippers (2 if you are lucky), and tuggin your wire all day ...


Laying pipe, removing shorts, getting wired, getting lit, etc

Sent from my SGH-T599 using Tapatalk


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## bobelectric (Feb 24, 2007)

Chris1971 said:


> Know any good electrician jokes?:001_huh:


 Most of the boys on this site.


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## electricmanscott (Feb 11, 2010)

Rewire.


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## drsparky (Nov 13, 2008)

What's black and crispy and hangs from the ceiling? _A amateur electrician changing a light bulb._


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## Chris1971 (Dec 27, 2010)

What is the definition of a shock absorber?
A careless electrician!


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## EB Electric (Feb 8, 2013)

Save a fuse, blow an electrician. Save a wire, strip an electrician.


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## jculber (Apr 22, 2008)

Why do transformers hum?












Because they forgot the words.


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## Legacyelectric (Sep 9, 2012)

What do you call an electrician with a hammer?


A thief


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## Bkessler (Feb 14, 2007)

How many blond big breasted college girls with loose morals does it take to
screw in a light bulb?




"I don't know how many?"



"How many you got"?


When's lunch?


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## dmxtothemax (Jun 15, 2010)

Chris1971 said:


> Know any good electrician jokes?:001_huh:


 

Cletis ?


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## Moonshot180 (Apr 1, 2012)

Funny quotes:

A $1000.0 piece of equipment will sacrifice itself to protect a 50. cent fuse.

Electricity is a malevolent entity, it will relentlessly try and find any and all ways/paths to zap you.


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## ralpha494 (Oct 29, 2008)

A plumber, a fitter and a carpenter walk into a bar. The electrician ducks.


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## Bad Electrician (May 20, 2014)

What's the phone company of Mexico?

Taco Bell


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## elecpatsfan (Oct 1, 2010)

What's a schoolboys favorite type of light fixture?


Recess lights


What kind of lights did Noah have on his arc?


flood lights


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## RobRoy (Aug 6, 2009)

hdthegreat said:


> Electricians do it till it hertz on delays=mexican timers.











My work phone.:thumbup::laughing:


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## ralpha494 (Oct 29, 2008)

I just found this elsewhere on this site & thought it should be here too.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Rhode Island State house in Providence, one from Cranston, and another from North Kingstown and the third, Exeter. They go with a State house official to examine the fence. 

The North Kingstown contractor takes out a tape measure and does some Measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me." 

The Exeter contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and then says I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me." 

The Cranston contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the State House official and whispers, "$2,700." 

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" 

The Cranston contractor whispers back, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Exeter to fix the fence."


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## ampman66 (Dec 5, 2012)

http://agoodgoodbye.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/last-words-cemetery-electrician.jpg


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## Mich drew (Mar 3, 2013)

Ohms ohms on the range.

Homotrons blow fuses.

A cannibal passed his friend in the woods...............


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## Service Call (Jul 9, 2011)

RobRoy said:


> My work phone.:thumbup::laughing:


You have mail


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## Rollie73 (Sep 19, 2010)

Whats the difference between God and an electrician??





God doesn't think he's an electrician:jester:


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## jett95 (Sep 18, 2012)

Not electrical but, 
How do two gay horses greet each other?
Hayyyyyy!!!


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## Rollie73 (Sep 19, 2010)

Not a Sparky joke but funny anyway.....



What do you do when there is a plumber staggering around in your backyard??


First......stop giggling
Second.....Shoot him again.

:laughing::laughing:


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## theJcK (Aug 7, 2013)

recent ones ive heard. general construction..

"i cant drive this nail"
"why?"
"it doesnt have a steering wheel!"

"thats wrong as two boys f$&@ing"

"why do painters wear white?"
"why?"
"so the superintendent can find them easier at the bar." 

"are you in?"
"b$&@h im done!"


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## Chrisibew440 (Sep 13, 2013)

jett95 said:


> Not electrical but,
> How do two gay horses greet each other?
> Hayyyyyy!!!


It's what does a gay horse eat?


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## elecpatsfan (Oct 1, 2010)

Knock Knock.

who's there?

Wire.

Wire who?

Wire you trying to piss on back and tell me it's raining


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## Hmacanada (Jan 16, 2014)

So this guy orders a male enhancement product online, pays over 100 bucks for it and waits 3 weeks for it .
Finally a package arrives.
To his great disappointment he finds a magnifying glass and a set of instructions in the box that reads 
" Do not use in direct sunlight"



Sent from my iPhone using electriciantalk.com


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## LGLS (Nov 10, 2007)

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Oh no that's a racist joke.

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 
One. Just hold the bulb up and the whole world revolves around us.


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