# Excuses not to work



## HARRY304E (Sep 15, 2010)

rnr electric said:


> I am sure that this was asked before, but i have to wonder what was the best, and worst excuses for not working today.I have heard some that made me laugh,Want to cry, and even some that i was sympathetic to.and some that were just so "out there" i had to keep the guy around just to get the rest of the story!!


My car broke down so i had to take the Bus to the beach..:laughing:


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## MDShunk (Jan 7, 2007)

I had a guy work for me exactly long enough to get dental insurance, then immediately take two weeks off (with a dr's note) to get every bit of dental work he ever needed done. He lasted exactly three days after that.


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## B W E (May 1, 2011)

I once woke up late and parked my car about 2 miles from the supply house I worked at. I let all the air out of a tire and hid my jack. Called and asked if someone would come pick me up. Worked perfectly.


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## rnr electric (Jan 29, 2010)

HARRY304E said:


> My car broke down so i had to take the Bus to the beach..:laughing:


 Too generic!! I live in florida, right on beach. here this one all the time:thumbup:


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## rnr electric (Jan 29, 2010)

MDShunk said:


> I had a guy work for me exactly long enough to get dental insurance, then immediately take two weeks off (with a dr's note) to get every bit of dental work he ever needed done. He lasted exactly three days after that.


 That is SHI**Y,.. And a new one for me.


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## HARRY304E (Sep 15, 2010)

MDShunk said:


> I had a guy work for me exactly long enough to get dental insurance, then immediately take two weeks off (with a dr's note) to get every bit of dental work he ever needed done. He lasted exactly three days after that.



Funny how that worked out..:blink::laughing:


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## rnr electric (Jan 29, 2010)

B W E said:


> I once woke up late and parked my car about 2 miles from the supply house I worked at. I let all the air out of a tire and hid my jack. Called and asked if someone would come pick me up. Worked perfectly.


 No Problem here. at least you went to work, When i was young i actually had my car impounded on my way to work. I flagged down on of our vans and hung out helping him for the day. My boss thought i was out sick and questioned my timecard at end of the week


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## MDShunk (Jan 7, 2007)

HARRY304E said:


> Funny how that worked out..:blink::laughing:


Yeah, I mean, he wasn't exactly spectacular, but probably worth having around. When he screwed me with taking two weeks off, out of the blue, to take care of what could have been taken care of a little bit at a time (when the work schedule was lighter), then extra scrutiny was on him. Hey, I have no problem with getting your teeth fixed, but all at once? Christ, at least give me a little warning. When a customer complained that he smelled like cigarette smoke and beer (even though he was not drunk), that was all I needed to know to let him go. He lost his unemployment hearing too. No unemployment for you, buddy.


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## rnr electric (Jan 29, 2010)

MDShunk said:


> Yeah, I mean, he wasn't exactly spectacular, but probably worth having around. When he screwed me with taking two weeks off, out of the blue, to take care of what could have been taken care of a little bit at a time (when the work schedule was lighter), then extra scrutiny was on him. Hey, I have no problem with getting your teeth fixed, but all at once? Christ, at least give me a little warning. When a customer complained that he smelled like cigarette smoke and beer (even though he was not drunk), that was all I needed to know to let him go. He lost his unemployment hearing too. No unemployment for you, buddy.


 I dont blame you a bit.. if somebody is giving you free dental, at least have the common courtesy to be decent, and work with him, do a little at a time so as to keep the scheduling straight, as far as the smells.. i allways say this "when your not with me, you still represent me". dont smoke on the job and if you smell like beer from last night, eat a tic-tac or two or let me know and ill put you in a non critical environment.


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## HARRY304E (Sep 15, 2010)

MDShunk said:


> Yeah, I mean, he wasn't exactly spectacular, but probably worth having around. When he screwed me with taking two weeks off, out of the blue, to take care of what could have been taken care of a little bit at a time (when the work schedule was lighter), then extra scrutiny was on him. Hey, I have no problem with getting your teeth fixed, but all at once? Christ, at least give me a little warning. When a customer complained that he smelled like cigarette smoke and beer (even though he was not drunk), that was all I needed to know to let him go. He lost his unemployment hearing too. No unemployment for you, buddy.


That is hard to do up here .
He defiantly deserved no unemployment at all.

How these guys think otherwise drives me crazy.

What are the beni's.:blink:

The beni's are i am paying you top dollar so you can pay for them your self but they just don't get it.:no:


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## rnr electric (Jan 29, 2010)

I have had a couple guys that borrowed money, and quit before it was paid back. those guys are the ones that pi$$ me off!. either pay your debts or dont borrow.


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## Big John (May 23, 2010)

When I first took over this job, I had a helper call on Monday:
_"Yeah... I won't be in today..."
_Me:_ "Okay. What happened?"_
_"I tripped over the cat."_
Me: _"You tripped over the cat..."
_Him: Silence.
Me:_ "So you hurt yourself? Killed the cat? What happened?"
__"Well, I tripped over it."
_Me: _"...Are you drunk?!"
"No, but the cat..."
_Me: _"Listen. If you're at all capable of working I expect you here today, or else you'd better come up with a whole lot better excuse than that."
"Alright."_ 
He showed up right as rain and worked fine. Never did find out what happened to the cat. :no:

-John


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## BestMan (Jun 19, 2011)

My response has been the same for the past 2 years
Me: (insert boss name) i'm not gonna be in today.
Boss: Why not?
Me:I'm sick
Boss:Sick how?
Me: I have horrible diarrhea

Then if the boss asks a question after that i go into detail about a horrible experience i had with some Indian food


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## B W E (May 1, 2011)

HARRY304E said:


> That is hard to do up here .
> He defiantly deserved no unemployment at all.
> 
> How these guys think otherwise drives me crazy.
> ...


Apparently some people expect to be paid to drive to work too!


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## BBQ (Nov 16, 2010)

B W E said:


> Apparently some people expect to be paid to drive to work too!


We pay for people to drive, you don't. So what?


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## B W E (May 1, 2011)

BBQ said:


> We pay for people to drive, you don't. So what?


It's stupid. It's a waste o money and exposes you to a crapload of liability. You pay a guy to drive to work and he calls and says he has a flat tire. Does the clock keep going? How many flat tires is a guy allowed per year?


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## 480sparky (Sep 20, 2007)




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## BBQ (Nov 16, 2010)

B W E said:


> It's stupid. It's a waste o money and exposes you to a crapload of liability. You pay a guy to drive to work and he calls and says he has a flat tire. Does the clock keep going? How many flat tires is a guy allowed per year?


Look if you don't want to pay people and you are within the law, great continue on doing that. You are the boss. 

But don't try to find fault with compaines that, for whatever reason treat their employees better than that.

Most of our guys who drive personal vehicles to the job are not paid for that. They do get gas money for it when the distance is long. (I can't remember the distance, I think 40 miles) 

OTH I regularly send guys on 4 to 8 hour drives in company trucks or personal trucks and we pay them for that. 

Why?

Well maybe because it is the right thing to do if you can price it into the job.


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## Jlarson (Jun 28, 2009)

Why on earth would you not pay someone for driving a company truck while on the job. If you have to do that to save money and win jobs you fail.


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## B W E (May 1, 2011)

BBQ said:


> Look if you don't want to pay people and you are within the law, great continue on doing that. You are the boss.
> 
> But don't try to find fault with compaines that, for whatever reason treat their employees better than that.
> 
> ...


So, you just basically agreed that you do everything the same way I do. Drive your own vehicle to work, off the clock. Drive your vehicle or my vehicle farther than usual, on the clock (law requires that.....) drive for 4-8 hours? On the clock.... (law requires that too.... Yours and mine.)

See, we do it the same way. I knew you were too smart to just throw money away!


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## B W E (May 1, 2011)

Jlarson said:


> Why on earth would you not pay someone for driving a company truck while on the job. If you have to do that to save money and win jobs you fail.


Hey chief, when did I say anything about a company truck? Talking about a guy driving his own vehicle from his house to the jobsite.


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## BBQ (Nov 16, 2010)

B W E said:


> So, you just basically agreed that you do everything the same way I do. Drive your own vehicle to work, off the clock.


Close, 

Drive your own vehicle to our shop and ride the truck to the job and you are on the clock.



> Drive your vehicle or my vehicle farther than usual, on the clock


Maybe yes maybe no, it depends.



> (law requires that.....) drive for 4-8 hours? On the clock.... (law requires that too.... Yours and mine.)


It depends, sometimes yes sometimes no. 



> I knew you were too smart to just throw money away!


I bid it into the jobs.


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## Jlarson (Jun 28, 2009)

B W E said:


> Talking about a guy driving his own vehicle from his house to the jobsite.


Yeah I know. I see no problem with how you pay. I was talking about part of BBQ's post.


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## B4T (Feb 10, 2009)

We all know good employees are hard to find.. nickel and dime them over gas money is dumb and stupid.. IMO..

The guy is going to have an attitude and not be as productive as he could of been if he was happy with the employer..


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## 480sparky (Sep 20, 2007)

My all-time favorite excuse for not coming to work was the guy who said he couldn't get his chips into his cooler so he needed to go shopping for another cooler.


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## JB4160 (Jul 23, 2011)

Best excuse I ever heard (and this is NO joke)

A guy called in and informed me that he couldnt make it in because.....his dads girlfriend chipped a tooth on a chicken bone that was accidently left in some soup. The tooth chip then fell on the floor and eventually went down into the floor vent. At the time of the call, he was helping his father take apart the duct in the crawlspace to retrieve the broken tooth.


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## Rockyd (Apr 22, 2007)

B4T said:


> We all know good employees are hard to find.. nickel and dime them over gas money is dumb and stupid.. IMO..
> 
> *The guy is going to have an attitude and not be as productive as he could of been if he was happy with the employer*..


B4T I'm way past that. You want to nickel dime me? Cool, I'm using YOUR copier to copy my resume` for places I have to deliver a paper resume` too. I may have to work, but I will put my eggs in the best basket I can find. Chickensh!t contractors don't deserve good employees :no:.


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## knowshorts (Jan 9, 2009)

Had a guy not show up for 3 days straight. Even his wife was paging me looking for him. He claimed he got kidnapped, taken to Palm Springs, eventually escaped, and hitchhiked back to LA.


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## 480sparky (Sep 20, 2007)

I worked with a guy who showed up a half hour late. Seems he had a heart attack while driving so he just pulled to the side of the road until it was over.


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## user4818 (Jan 15, 2009)

knowshorts said:


> He claimed he got kidnapped, taken to Palm Springs, eventually escaped, and hitchhiked back to LA.


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## jhall.sparky (Jun 14, 2011)

Had an employee's wife call me to tell me her husband was in jail. 
I went to post his bail and he wasn't there..........
Tues,wed,thurs,.....friday I seen him in a local resturant and on 
Monday he showed up .....with no paperwork or anything. 

If he would have waited 8 hours I had a BONUS check ready for him........

Seems like great timing if you ask me!


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## brian john (Mar 11, 2007)

I had a guy use every excuse in the book and I could not can him as he was the son of a friend of the boss, so he was a "keeper". One day he called in and told me, he was going to be late. I asked what now, waiting for one of his long lies. He answer "Something is up" 

I never did find out what was up, he was GONE, I refused to put him to work.


Another guy was always calling in his grandmother was sick, grandfather sick, grandmother died, grandfather died, 3-weeks later same excuse grandmother sick, grandmother died. I called him on it saying he was recycling his excuses way too soon and so he brings in the Obits. As a vegetarian I HATE CROW.


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## Hippie (May 12, 2011)

brian john said:


> Another guy was always calling in his grandmother was sick, grandfather sick, grandmother died, grandfather died, 3-weeks later same excuse grandmother sick, grandmother died. I called him on it saying he was recycling his excuses way too soon and so he brings in the Obits. As a vegetarian I HATE CROW.


Hopefully you did not chip a tooth on the bones and have to find it in a duct.


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## Mike D (Sep 16, 2008)

I had a guy call me yesterday to say " I woke up with a headache and took 4 asperins, I have left the house for the job and I believe I took 4 sleeping pills instead of aspirin, can I have the day off?"

Quality........


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## ohiosparky99 (Nov 12, 2009)

Here's 1 I like
Employee: I'm not going to make it
Me: what's up
Employee: I'm sick
Me: you don't sound sick??
Employee: Well, I'm having sex with my sister right now, is that sick enough?
Me: yeap


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## kennydmeek (Sep 12, 2009)

brian john said:


> I had a guy use every excuse in the book and I could not can him as he was the son of a friend of the boss, so he was a "keeper". One day he called in and told me, he was going to be late. I asked what now, waiting for one of his long lies. He answer "Something is up"
> 
> I never did find out what was up, he was GONE, I refused to put him to work.
> 
> Another guy was always calling in his grandmother was sick, grandfather sick, grandmother died, grandfather died, 3-weeks later same excuse grandmother sick, grandmother died. I called him on it saying he was recycling his excuses way too soon and so he brings in the Obits. As a vegetarian I HATE CROW.


I had one of those once.... Lost about 8 grandmothers in 2 years. The boss gave him a good reference just to get rid of him...boss told the guys new boss he was an "asset".... After hanging up he said "oops I meant to say "a$$#ole." true story.


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## running dummy (Mar 19, 2009)

We had a guy call in saying he **** his pants on the way into work and had to go home and change. Took the whole day off too.


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## john120/240 (May 28, 2010)

This was before caller ID & all that *69; Boss recievied call " Idon't know
you,you don't know me, but if John Doe applys for a job I would not hire him"


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## 480sparky (Sep 20, 2007)

running dummy said:


> We had a guy call in saying he **** his pants on the way into work and had to go home and change. Took the whole day off too.



:whistling2::whistling2::whistling2:


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## HARRY304E (Sep 15, 2010)

480sparky said:


> :whistling2::whistling2::whistling2:


:thumbup::laughing::laughing:


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## TOOL_5150 (Aug 27, 2007)

B W E said:


> Apparently some people expect to be paid to drive to work too!


Uh.. yeah.... dont know what planet your from. I have a company vehicle, and my time starts when i leave my house.


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## B W E (May 1, 2011)

TOOL_5150 said:


> Uh.. yeah.... dont know what planet your from. I have a company vehicle, and my time starts when i leave my house.


No kidding.... It's required by law. Anything else?


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## sparky970 (Mar 19, 2008)

I got soap in my eye


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## Wirenuting (Sep 12, 2010)

I just bought a Wrangler & it rained alot last night.


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